You Are What You Ask

4 minute read

Who are you?

Of all the ways you can measure yourself, there is one way that is more accurate than all the rest and is rarely if ever considered.

Your Questions.

The questions we ask not only reflect perfectly who we are but where we will end up. Life’s output is directly linked to our question’s input.

In other words, our questions dictate and determine who we will become and what we will produce or achieve.

Allow vs Create

Life is full of questions, especially the ones that require no effort on our part and that come during times of trial, stress or hurt.

“Why me?” and, “Why is this happening?” are usually allow questions.

These questions hold us captive to shortsighted outcomes and are fed by fear and doubt.

These are the questions that are most often answered by the masses and are as abundant and as suffocating as the clouds of London. (No knock on London, I just like the sun;)

Created questions take back the power and place it in the hands of the creator.

“Why not me?” or, “What can I learn from what is happening?” are usually created questions and allow for inspiration and insight.

These questions require that we are awake and intentional. They allow us access to all of the best traits we possess.

To better understand the process needed to create questions, check out this video:

The Core Of A Question

The problem with trying to help someone else ask a good question is that questions come from our motives and desires.

This is real estate that few are willing to look at closely.

Our deepest desires and motives are influenced by experience and laced with the natural selfishness that is in all of us. Brave and rare is the individual that has gone there and done some yard work or house cleaning.

This is why our questions can lack power.

What is

If you are not sure what this means, then consider your last 3 conversations and the questions that were asked. If you can’t remember any, then notice your next 3 conversations.

Do the questions seem stale? Does the energy required to answer them seem obligatory?

When was the last time someone asked you something that ignited passion or opened new pathways to thinking and being?

What is is a world full of questions that either stop growth or invite it to go backwards. These are questions filled with accusation, hypocrisy and selfishness.

What Can Be

What is possible is the opportunity to intentionally produce inquiry that opens the heart, the mind and the soul.

I will never forget the day I was asked two questions that struck me to the core.

First, How do other people experience you?

Second, How do other people experience themselves when they are with you?


What can be is the power to enlarge, enlighten and enable. All of which takes place as the result of a thoughtful question.

What Will Be

What will be is strength-producing, faith-promoting experiences all because of some courage and rearranging of motives in the creation of a question.

The core of the word “question” is “quest.” Therefore you not only ask what you are, but your asking determines where you will go.

No good or great thing can come from a place of negativity and fear. So quit asking questions that come from your fears and doubts. Notice the thought patterns that keep you down and out of that elevated place where true inquiry leads to life-giving growth.

Why Ask Why?

Of all questions that have the ability to be Bipolar, none is equal to the question why?

Why with real intent has led to the greatest discoveries and growth in history.

Why polluted with anger, fear, jealousy or any other destructive motive does just that, destroys or drags down. Imagine a lid being put on top or the lights being shut off. This is the negative result of the question why when asked for the wrong reason.

A good example might be when we are scared of or frustrated with someone, we will be tempted to ask the question, Why would they…….? When this question is just left hanging with no intention of finding the answer then it becomes a weapon.

When the same question, Why would they…..? is asked and the answer genuinely sought then we are now in a place of service and love.

It has always amazed me how asking the question of why in relation to someone else has always produced inspiration and insight if my desire to know the answer is because I want to help or serve the other person.