The Not So Obvious
What do your connections taste like?
Are you going in with your eyes closed trying to tell yourself that salty is good no matter the source?
Connection or attachment is, everything.
Availability and ease has made us lazy and shallow in our connections. We are believing those who say, “You can get much for little.”
What they aren’t saying is that the much we are getting is actually much heart-ache, confusion, pain, frustration, and despair.
To help you completely revamp what may be a life full of vain connections or just adjust the few that are vain, I offer the following.
When it comes to connection it’s all about the Why, What, and Who.
The purpose or motive of connection is see able and changeable. However, it is rare that someone takes the time to really consider their why.
Because there are literally a million reasons we can use as for why we do, or say, or think things, that means there are a million reasons to justify what we are saying, doing, or thinking.
It may look like kissing a pig with our eyes closed because we say we like kisses. Ignoring the reality of the connection.
It is important to see that all reasons come from: For me, For you, For us.
No matter how much someone may use one of those million other reasons as a motive for creating connection, any connection we create will be in one of these three.
The great thing is that two of the categories, For you and For us, will produce solid and useful connection.
For me produces an outcome that camouflages as substantial but leaves everyone else involved behind or without.
Being aware and awake to the real reasons we make connections will influence and empower the what of connection.
This refers to what we are using to connect.
Two hundred years ago, the methods for connection were much fewer than we have today.
Though the senses of touch, taste, sound, and sight are the same, we now have an endless array of ways to experience each.
Where time and distance once influenced connection, technology has made both obsolete.
A good question that we can ask ourselves is, “How private are the whats I am using to connect?
If my methods of connection require passwords, the darkness of night, and would embarrass me if others were aware of and participating in my connection, then it is probably safe to say that the connection is hurting me and others.
It has been said, “Show me your five closest friends, and I will show you your future.” So too can we see where we are headed if we consider who we connect with.
This does not mean people we have things in common with; it means the people we actively connect with.
In the same way that you are what you eat, you are who you connect with.
This is where ease can dictate but where intention should be the rule.
So… What is your real Why and, do you need to change it?
For those who are motivated yet frustrated with the results they are getting from their current connections, recognizing the real Why, will make it clear the Whats and Who that need to be deleted and added to your life.
The courage and faith needed to make these types of changes is your choice.
To take all of this to another level I invite you to set aside 54 minutes to have your mind blown and your heart healed by listening to and taking notes on this.
Though it is focused on children and youth and it refers to attachment, it goes where I wish I could on the subject.